With the coming cold winter weather fast approaching we begin to slow things down, become less active. I've actually been busier than I expected. That means that it's only one reason why I've not posted in a while. Mostly though, I've just been lazy.
Since the last post I made my yearly trek to Bowling Green, KY to the National Corvette Museum. This year was the 1st time I got to take the Z06 to the museum for this fall trip. Also, this is the 1st time I've not stayed the weekend. I did a whopping 735 miles on the 1st day, leaving the house and heading to BG driving thru the night, arriving there @ 7 AM local time. I stayed a few hours, talking to a friend that works there, and then seeing the new changes there and then headed to Kim's house. I had some great backroads to explore on the way and it was amazing.
We spent the rest of the day together, having a nice Birthday dinner and then decorating her Christmas tree and watching a classic movie.
The next morning we did a bunch of fun activities that morning and then it was back on the road again. I had beautiful weather all weekend and it was a perfect end to a great driving season in the Vette. Making it special was seeing Kim 2 weekends in a row. We're trying to make it where we can see each other as much as possible and hopefully, it's working :)
The recent holiday weekend was a pleasant one, as I got to spend it with some great friends and have some great food to boot.
I have a busy couple weekends coming up before the holidays. The cruise is only 5 or 6 weeks away, and I still have alot ot get done. Passport is on it's way, snorkel mask is being ground for my perscription, and all I need now is more of a 'cool' wardrobe to go along with my new trip.
On top of all of this... I've had a resurgence of an old love... muscle cars, and model building.
I picked up a copy of "Muscle Car Review" magazine a couple weeks ago mainly because it had a beautiful 1970 Olds 442 on the cover. I remembered just how COOL those old cars are and miss hanging out in those circles. While the Covette guys are great, the muscle car guys are even more diverse and spread out. I also had a great refresher @ the Corvette museum about how cool model building can be. There was a cool display that was themed around Corvettes and a 'shop' that had various models built to look in various states of repair. Really was a great thing to see. Made me want to dive back in a bit over the winter in my 'free time' and have some fun.
Like I need another hobby....
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Thursday, November 19, 2009
What a difference a week makes
Well,
The past week has been a whirlwind of excitement and change here. Kim and I did a lot of talking and after everything that's gone on this past month, she decided that with ME is where she wants to be. I couldn't have been happier.
While we're still working out the little details of things, the big picture is looking good. I'm working getting things to where we can see each other every other weekend and now that I've gotten my passport applied for, she invited me to go along with her on a cruise after the 1st of the year. It will be my 1st time for alot of things... 1) first cruise 2) first time out of the country ( other than Canada when I was 13 ) 3) first time to try snorkeling
On top of all that... I've even tried to expand my food choices. Kinda. I know I'm a picky eater and that my food tastes have always been a big issue for dating and such. I'm trying to change that. Baby steps are the key with that for me.
The past week has been a whirlwind of excitement and change here. Kim and I did a lot of talking and after everything that's gone on this past month, she decided that with ME is where she wants to be. I couldn't have been happier.
While we're still working out the little details of things, the big picture is looking good. I'm working getting things to where we can see each other every other weekend and now that I've gotten my passport applied for, she invited me to go along with her on a cruise after the 1st of the year. It will be my 1st time for alot of things... 1) first cruise 2) first time out of the country ( other than Canada when I was 13 ) 3) first time to try snorkeling
On top of all that... I've even tried to expand my food choices. Kinda. I know I'm a picky eater and that my food tastes have always been a big issue for dating and such. I'm trying to change that. Baby steps are the key with that for me.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
A new week
Well, I made it thru the weekend and it seems I'm still in one piece.
That was probably one of the roughest 3 days I've had in my memories. I spent the weekend trying to keep busy, and thru it all nothing worked. Everything I thought of reminded me of the very things I was trying to block out ( not forget ) and it all came to a head on Sunday when I took the Vette out for a drive.
I set the nav to a specific endpoint, but didn't follow its suggestions. When it told me a turn was coming, I'd look, and decide then if it was the right direction. In doing so, I found some incredible little back roads that wound thru farmlands and valleys and small towns in my area. I'd go 10-15 minutes before I'd see another car at times and only saw 1 car that had a light bar on the roof the whole trip that lasted 4+ hours.
The destination was a goal, but NOT the final outcome. It felt good to get the car out and drive without purpose or a time limit. What was normally a 45 minute drive turned into almost 2 hours. It gave me time to think, as I do some of my best thinking while I'm on a drive. I had the time to think about the choices I've made, the ones I want to make, and understanding not only the result of those choices, but the ramifications of them.
I ended up in Ohiophyle State park just past Frank Loyd Wright's Fallingwater masterpiece. I still have yet to go IN the place, but I've been on the grounds.
I spent about 2 hours walking around Ohiophyle, watching the rapids, the people kayaking, fishing and hiking thru the area. It's beautiful there any time of year but fall is the best even if the leaves were all but fallen by the time this weekend came. There are great trails to bike or walk that have some great scenery. There are all kinds of natural trails along the river to hike and get some excercise. I mainly just was hanging out taking it all in. Went to another area called "Cucumber Falls" and saw some great views there. The area has changed alot since I was a kid, but most of the BIG things haven't.
I took a different route home and found more great roads.
Thru it all... with all the intent of keeping things OUT of my mind, it just solidified my resolve and reminded me that teh passenger seat was empty, and that the person I wanted to share this all with was very far away ( further than usual ) and was doing the same as me in a way... and as it turned out, we were doing the same thing... wishing the other was there to share what they were experiencing. Our minds are WAY too much alike at times...
So... the week has started and while nothing's really "changed" I DO feel things are different, and that's not a bad thing. I don't know what the coming days,weeks or months have in store, but I'm not worried about that right now. I'm not going to rush things and either of us make hasty decisions. Yes, it's not easy... but nothing worth the struggle is ever easy. And I STILL know it's worth every minute of whatever I have to go thru.
Check back tonight for some pictures
That was probably one of the roughest 3 days I've had in my memories. I spent the weekend trying to keep busy, and thru it all nothing worked. Everything I thought of reminded me of the very things I was trying to block out ( not forget ) and it all came to a head on Sunday when I took the Vette out for a drive.
I set the nav to a specific endpoint, but didn't follow its suggestions. When it told me a turn was coming, I'd look, and decide then if it was the right direction. In doing so, I found some incredible little back roads that wound thru farmlands and valleys and small towns in my area. I'd go 10-15 minutes before I'd see another car at times and only saw 1 car that had a light bar on the roof the whole trip that lasted 4+ hours.
The destination was a goal, but NOT the final outcome. It felt good to get the car out and drive without purpose or a time limit. What was normally a 45 minute drive turned into almost 2 hours. It gave me time to think, as I do some of my best thinking while I'm on a drive. I had the time to think about the choices I've made, the ones I want to make, and understanding not only the result of those choices, but the ramifications of them.
I ended up in Ohiophyle State park just past Frank Loyd Wright's Fallingwater masterpiece. I still have yet to go IN the place, but I've been on the grounds.
I spent about 2 hours walking around Ohiophyle, watching the rapids, the people kayaking, fishing and hiking thru the area. It's beautiful there any time of year but fall is the best even if the leaves were all but fallen by the time this weekend came. There are great trails to bike or walk that have some great scenery. There are all kinds of natural trails along the river to hike and get some excercise. I mainly just was hanging out taking it all in. Went to another area called "Cucumber Falls" and saw some great views there. The area has changed alot since I was a kid, but most of the BIG things haven't.
I took a different route home and found more great roads.
Thru it all... with all the intent of keeping things OUT of my mind, it just solidified my resolve and reminded me that teh passenger seat was empty, and that the person I wanted to share this all with was very far away ( further than usual ) and was doing the same as me in a way... and as it turned out, we were doing the same thing... wishing the other was there to share what they were experiencing. Our minds are WAY too much alike at times...
So... the week has started and while nothing's really "changed" I DO feel things are different, and that's not a bad thing. I don't know what the coming days,weeks or months have in store, but I'm not worried about that right now. I'm not going to rush things and either of us make hasty decisions. Yes, it's not easy... but nothing worth the struggle is ever easy. And I STILL know it's worth every minute of whatever I have to go thru.
Check back tonight for some pictures
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Long Weekend... but not the kind I want
So I'm sitting here typing away for reasons I can't quite explain.
Keeping a log of my weekend to share later.
This is the 1st weekend in a LONG time that Kim and I haven't been in constant contact with each other. We both know it needs to be done and see what comes of it. She THINKS that it's going to re-assure her of a few things about what she wants and all that. I KNOW it's killing me.
Minutes used to go by without us talking. We'd get antsy if 5 minutes went by without an email response. Now... it's been 15 hours since the last txt message and it feels like it's been 2 weeks.
I know... i'm pathetic, but those of you that still read this already know what I'm like, so that shoud be NO shock. Those that stumble on this, well this isn't really for you anyway.
Sunday night is a long ways away for me right now. That's when we've agreed to talk again. 36 hours... is going to feel like a month.
Keeping a log of my weekend to share later.
This is the 1st weekend in a LONG time that Kim and I haven't been in constant contact with each other. We both know it needs to be done and see what comes of it. She THINKS that it's going to re-assure her of a few things about what she wants and all that. I KNOW it's killing me.
Minutes used to go by without us talking. We'd get antsy if 5 minutes went by without an email response. Now... it's been 15 hours since the last txt message and it feels like it's been 2 weeks.
I know... i'm pathetic, but those of you that still read this already know what I'm like, so that shoud be NO shock. Those that stumble on this, well this isn't really for you anyway.
Sunday night is a long ways away for me right now. That's when we've agreed to talk again. 36 hours... is going to feel like a month.
Monday, November 2, 2009
Losing your grip
You always hear people say if you want something, you need to loosen your grip, or the tighter you hold on, the quicker it will slip away... I get that.
It's been a hellish 2+ weeks here. I won't lie and say that things haven't been tough, and because of my personality I make it tougher on myself. My heart and mind are at a civil war within themselves, fighting for control and the rights to the decision making processes.
It seems that no matter what I do, it only makes things worse. If I hold on and stand fast to my beliefs and what I know to be the right course of action... I lose.
If I let go and just let things happen natually, hoping that things will work themselves out... I lose. I refuse to believe that there isn't a way thru things and a solution that will work for us both, and yet I find myself doing exactly what I told myself I wouldn't do. Lose it.
Some things I still don't understand and I need to give up trying to and just accept it.
It feels dark and cold when I'm in the sun's light. I feel alone in a crowd of people. I don't interact with the world outside me, because without what I need and love... none of it is of any consequence to me.
I'm trying to let things run their course. I'm trying to let the natural process of going from someone's loved one to an old photo of someone's past. I fight it because I BELIEVE in something more than what it laying before me. I get that "well, if it's meant to be, it will work out" line and I want to die. Nothing just works itself out. It takes work, committment, struggle, frustration and patience.
If I let things go as they are now, I could lose big. Ruining any chance of things making their way back to what we both have said that we see as a possible future.
If I fight it... I WILL lose everything I want. Everything I need and love.
There's just one thing I want, need... love. And I'm helpless to make a difference.
It's been a hellish 2+ weeks here. I won't lie and say that things haven't been tough, and because of my personality I make it tougher on myself. My heart and mind are at a civil war within themselves, fighting for control and the rights to the decision making processes.
It seems that no matter what I do, it only makes things worse. If I hold on and stand fast to my beliefs and what I know to be the right course of action... I lose.
If I let go and just let things happen natually, hoping that things will work themselves out... I lose. I refuse to believe that there isn't a way thru things and a solution that will work for us both, and yet I find myself doing exactly what I told myself I wouldn't do. Lose it.
Some things I still don't understand and I need to give up trying to and just accept it.
It feels dark and cold when I'm in the sun's light. I feel alone in a crowd of people. I don't interact with the world outside me, because without what I need and love... none of it is of any consequence to me.
I'm trying to let things run their course. I'm trying to let the natural process of going from someone's loved one to an old photo of someone's past. I fight it because I BELIEVE in something more than what it laying before me. I get that "well, if it's meant to be, it will work out" line and I want to die. Nothing just works itself out. It takes work, committment, struggle, frustration and patience.
If I let things go as they are now, I could lose big. Ruining any chance of things making their way back to what we both have said that we see as a possible future.
If I fight it... I WILL lose everything I want. Everything I need and love.
There's just one thing I want, need... love. And I'm helpless to make a difference.
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