Uncramming my mind Part 1

Well, this past 2 weeks has been a really crazy time. I've had alot go on; some good, some not so...

I made a new friend last week. I lost one this week. Strange how that works.

I wish I could say that the friend I lost was a good one, but the fact was that I didn't know him as well as I could've. A close friend of a friend of mine was killed in a car accident last weekend. What I DID know about him was that he was a fun guy to be around and that judging by the amount of people at the funeral home last night, he had a HUGE impact on people around him. I knew John for about 5 years and only saw him a handful of times a year. Still... last night was alot tougher for me to go thru than I expected it to.
You see, since mom died, I'd not been to many funeral homes and I've had alot of trouble with them since. I felt guilty last night that I didn't have more to say to his parents when I introduced myself. Partly due to a mental block on my part, and partly that I just didn't know what to say.
I've said on here ALOT of times that we all need to cherish the time we have here, and that life is way too short for fear, regret and letting ourselves be unhappy in a situation that we think can't be changed or shouldn't be ...
I'm guilty of not following my own advice. I live each day in regret for the things I have, or haven't done. I live in fear of spending my life alone, yet I'm doo scared to make that move on someone that could be great for me. Deathly afraid of when I say what I feel, that it will fall on deaf ears and I look the fool for saying so. WHY? NO seems to be one of the most painful words in the english language.

So... on that, I will say DON'T make the same mistakes I continue to. Smile at that cute bank teller and find out more about her. Talk to that cute someone you see in line for coffee and strike up conversation. Maybe they're married and happy, but appreciate being noticed. Maybe they're single and are looking for the same thing you are... a connection. I feel with my bad programming I'm doomed to repeat the cycle, but it's not too late for others.

OK... so I also mentioned I made a new friend.
I know very little about this person, and yet every day, I look forward to talking and finding out more about what makes them tick. I find myself thinking about what I'll say, or what the next day will bring. It's nice to have that. Someone interested in what you're all about, and wants to share their time with you. Any relationship you make enhances who you are inside and helps you along your path in life.
I find that stuff I say sounds crazy and at the same time, I'm not afraid. I should be.. but I'm not. Time will tell what this new friendship brings. Maybe it's something that in weeks or months will fizzle and fade like so many do in our lives. It's not the amount of time we are connected, it's the quality of that connection, however brief it may be. Maybe 20 years from now, I'll sit back and can say "I remember when this all started... can you?"

Time is a funny thing.... ( I think I said that before too...)

Stay tuned for Pt2 :)