The past week

It's been a very crazy week here. Being Memorial day weekend and me being gone for most of it, I had alot of stuff to catch up on. On top of that I wasn't really able to get my brain back into the swing of working.
We've been soo busy at work trying to make deadlines and meet scheduling promises, there's not been much time to sit and think. I've spent most of my drives home doing enough thinking to last me a month. I guess everything of the past month or so has just been building up and before you know it... something you were looking forward to for so long has come and gone so quick.
Now you have the memories and the thoughts and feelings that you've been having take on a different meaning. You become reflective and maybe thinking twice about what you did, said, etc... and then have to remind yourself that what's behind you isn't anything you can change, and why would you want to?
Takes alot of will power to stick to your plans and to not try to overthink or overanylize what happens.

Work has really been stressful.... life has been... well, it's been great, but tough at times too. I look forward to more times like that. Many more. I have no regrets or problems with anything that I've had to contend with.
I think its going to be a great, and rewarding summer.
June is almost here!

Just how bad I needed a vacation

This past weekend was something I've not done in a while... Taken time off. More importantly, I took time off for a non-racing event... non family visiting...just going somewhere to BE there.

I went this past weekend to meet many other online people at a web forum gathering. I was really looking forward to this weekend for many reasons. Most of which was to meet people, make new friends, and spend time around a bunch of cars.

I didn't realize just how much I needed the vacation until I got there. Not long after I was there, I just felt a HUGE weight lifted off me. Any and all uneasyness, or worries or anxiety quickly went away. After an hour or so, I was feeling pretty relaxed, and free... free from time, a schedule, and from the outside world and it's crap.
All that mattered was the here and now. The future can wait, the past didn't matter.

I need to get out more often. I met a ton of great people that all share similar interests, saw some fantastic cars and had a great time mingling with people and just spending time together.

Need time to recover....

Weekend ahead..

Well...
I'm doing something I've not done in a LONG TIME this weekend... Taking a trip with no schedule, no firm plans and little dealines.

Heading to the National Corvette Museum for a big memorial day weekend party. Should be a blast.

I'll have plenty of stories and pics to share when I get back. I hope.

This has the potential to be a weekend I won't forget for a long time.
:)

Inner voice, inner demon, inner peace

When you're talking to a friend about problems you're having... whether it's love, life, work, or whatever... you always find one of them sooner or later saying "trust your inner voice".. If you got voices in your head, don't you think you've got bigger issues??

In all seriousness.. I find myself sometimes struggling with those very voices. You KNOW they are usually right, or at least, more right than you are, and yet I have rarely gone ahead and listened to them. Instead of trusting my gut, and doing what needed to be done, I always just follow my heart. My heart is a moron at times and doesn't see the big picture every now and then.

When we want something...sooo bad, we tend to rationalize with ourselves ( yes... that voice is the one we argue with ) and convince ourselves that what we want and what we need are one in the same. That just becuase we feel we deserve something that we should have it.. consequences be damned. It's not that simple... I know it.. we all do.. we do it anyway, becuase we tell ourselves it's the right thing, or the acceptable thing to do.

Usually, the root of the struggle comes from our past. Whether it's past mistakes, missed chances, hopes and dreams we strive to make real, or just "I want that...", it always comes back to haunt us. Those inner demons nag at us, eat at our subconscious minds and sabotage what we do in the here and now.

Now, I'm not saying that those demons we all have are evil, but we're always afraid of repeating a past bad time. Maybe it's all in our minds, but it's VERY REAL in that mind and we have to deal with it. Either we confront those ones head on, or we hide from them, or we pick and choose our battles and take things as they come.

My worst demon is no less important than yours.. and no less scary... to ME. It's important that we understand that when someone talks to you about their problem. It's hard for them to deal with it as it is, and the last thing they need is to have you trivailize it.

So... that brings me to inner peace... or the search for it.

As we grow up, we're searching for our own identity, sometimes finding that we're not the person that we thought we wanted to be. Making matters worse is that when you get older and have that circle of friends that KNOW you, it's hard to change. They expect you to be a certain way, and in that way, it's constricting and stunts your growth as a person.
Time goes on and you find your path, and yet still struggle for finding that place of serenity or neutrality that you can just BE and not be judged, be scrutinized, or otherwise feel you have to be "that person". Finding that place can be as duanting as finding your path or purpose in life. It's there.... you just have to open your eyes and you heart to find it.
What we do with our time here is more important than any rewards, money, fame or acknowledgment that we can get. Making yourself happy... truly happy, is the name of the game. Whether it's your career, love, hobbies, etc... YOU control your own destiny and fortune. Maybe in the grand scheme our paths are written... I dunno.
We're all connected whether we realize it or not. The longer you stay in this world, you realize how small it really is.

Be happy... find that place in your soul where you're at peace.
Be happy... Don't let things in life that cause 'drama' rattle you to the point where you want to give in.

Maybe it's all gibberish...

New shoes

Got a bunch of new shoes for the car this week.... Between off-road use tires and ON-road use... I spent more than I did all last season to compete...sheeesh...

I'll have pics soon, as it's dark and I'm getting the new tires mounted on the race weels tomorrow, and the street wheels are getting new tires as well. I figure 30K miles on them is enough...

Hope you all are having a great week. Mine's been up and down, but looks to be UP right now, so I'm not complaining...

enough to make you cry like a baby

So, I was flipping thru the stations just now and I saw a commercial that caught my attention.

It was for the ASPCA, and was hosted by Sarah Maclachlan. I am a dog lover to begin with and hate the idea of people neglecting, abandoning or harming animals in general, especially dogs. I'm not a cat lover, but would never want harm to come to them either.

The images both still and video were heartbreaking. Made me want to rush out and adopt a dog, even though I have neither the room nor time to care for an additional one.

Don't know why I brought this up. Maybe just a little bummed out today for other reasons and that commercial just struck a chord with me.