A new season has begun

I've been quite busy with various things in my life lately and this has taken a backseat to that at the moment.... I'll try to sum things up in a neat package...

Work:
Work has been killing me, but has been very rewarding at the same time. We're currently working on the new ( and 1st ) casino in town and we've been under the gun to make things go smoothly and quickly. This means getting stuff modeled, detailed, printed and reviewed so it can be sent for approval, and then the other guys get to check all the work... then get it to the shop. This wouldn't have been an issue had the designs not changed a bunch of times and questions got answered in a timely fashion. Instead... it lags and we have to wait... and here we are.

So, the bosses have made incentives for us to work more and get things back on track. That's great, but now with it being spring, there's work around the yard and such to be done too.

I can't complain. They treat me VERY well and while everyone is screaming about a recession, we've not been busier.. having to turn work away at times. That's a nice problem to have.

Racing:
This past weekend started my new season and I got to really see what little I did to the car made a difference. For whatever reason, I went into this weekend with alot of confidence and a great attitude about it.
Friday night I setup the 1st course for our test event with some other of the drivers.
Saturday we had our test event and got to drive a few cool cars and rode in a few VERY cool cars... made my day.
Sunday's event was a blast. Like I said, I went into it not worrying about where I'd place, or who was in my class. I just was happy to be there driving again and have a great time with all my racing buddies.
I found that I drove very aggressively and spun in the 1st run. After I got that out of the way, I felt more relaxed and on each run I got quicker. Each time, the car felt slower, and smoother, and nothing came out of nowhere to surprise me. I was rewarded in the end with a class win over someone that normally eeks me out of decent places and out of 97 drivers, I finished 27th. Not bad for a 1st event of the season.

Personal:
Most of my confidence as of late has been the result of a close friend's attitude towards me. It's nice to have someone that believes in you and supports what you enjoy doing. Positive reinforcement is a powerful tool when you are trying to do something well and you work so hard to achieve it.
My friend is going thru a bit of a tough time, and I'm doing my best to be that same person they have been to me. It's a bit of a different situation, but the intent is the same.
Sometimes no matter what you try to do, you need to step back and just be there. It's not saying you don't care, but you're showing that you do by not smothering them or clammoring for thier attention and giving them the space they need.
It's hard to walk that line. You care and want to be sure they KNOW you are there and want to help if you can, but you also have to respect that you have no idea what they're going thru and sometimes just letting them be, and standing aside until you're needed is the right thing.

You can be a friend and still let them have space. You may think you know what's right, and what's best, but you're not them, and no one can change that. Everyone needs to follow their own path and find thier way to that door we all must walk thru someday.

I've been really good at that balance so far, but it's hard.

where does the time go?

Sorry it's been a while since I posted. I've had a ton of stuff going on and life takes over and rules supreme over the rest.

So... what's been going on?? I don't even know where I can start...

Work has been really pushing my limits both mentally and physically. Between long hours, tight deadlines, and training, I've not had much time to let my brain sit idle and THINK about much else. What thoughts HAVE been in there aren't ones that can be put here.
The upcoming season is almost here, and I've been spending what little time I have free to get little things done here and there. This weekend I did the brakes... New wheels and some new tires are next in line.

Things on other levels are unchanged. Things are what they are. I know that sounds cryptic, but that's about all I can put into words. In my new role of "taking things as they come, one day at a time", it makes things at the same time both complicated and simple.
Simple, in that I know what I want from things and what I DO NOT want. Simple in that I have gotten very good and letting things roll off, not let too many things get to me, and more importantly... not read too much into things that come your way. Sometimes, you blow things out of proportion, or take something the wrong way, or whatever....
Complicatied in that for whatever reason, nothing in life is ever cut and dry. Nothing happens in life that is without it's share of risk and reward. The trick is to find that balance where the risks and the rewards don't make things ugly.
If the risk is too great in your eyes, you will normally back away and play it safe. Conversely, if the reward is great, you might jump TOO quickly and get burned.

We all play these odds in our heads. Laying awake at night, running the various scenarios in our heads how things COULD go, and thinking about what we'd do if "this" happened, or if "that" happened. You can drive yourself insane with those thoughts. We psych ourselves out of doing something for fear of failure, embarrassment, rejection, etc... and we could end up missing the most important thing to happen to us in our lives.
Or it could just be another day. You could dodge that bullet and find that life goes on without that thing and you're still going to be pretty damn OK.

Life's funny that way I hear.

Sometimes we have no time to think, and we feel as if our head will explode if we don't get some thoughts out and in the open... Sometimes the thoughts, feelings, fears and such that we keep can consume and tear us apart. Sometimes they feed that monster in us that keeps us at arm's length so we don't get hurt. Sometimes... we just need to vent.

I get both... I get alot of pressure internally to keep my mouth shut and heart closed as to keep things close to me and not let people in. I make sure my time is filled with tasks and such to keep it busy and keep those thoughts at bay. Then, when I get time alone to think ( usually driving ), I find alot of stuff that I've kept compartmentalized gets garbled and makes no sense.

That's part of why I started this here.... To organize and flesh out alot of the things in my head that I've not been able to assemble. Sometimes I realize I should keep my trap shut, but I've been good at letting this become it's own animal.

I can't say what the future holds right now. Nor can I even begin to think about even where I see myself 1 yr, or more down the road. I'm just a traveller on this road right now and my maps have only points, no names on them...

Spring is here

So, I hope everyone is having good spring-like weather in your corner of the land.,,

This past weekend I spent part of it outdoors. The local club had their 1st autocross of the season and I had to attend, even if I wasn't running. Not that I HAD to go, but I felt I had to go since I wanted to get out and see everybody as well as check out everyone's new or updated rides.
After about 20 minutes there, I wish I'd have begged for a co-drive or just put my car in anyway. The weather was great. So great, in fact, that I got a good bit of sunburn. Just on my face and neck, but it's not feeling fun right now.
There was alot of really great cars out and it was really good to hang out and talk cars with them all. 2 Weeks from now, there's another event, and I'll be there for sure. New brakes are going on the car this weekend, and my tires will be good for that one as well. I'll have to order new tires in teh next few weeks I feel as well.

Sorry I've been away from the posting... it's been a bit crazy as I usually say it is.